Eulogy delivered on 23 August 2007...
Welcome, Mom, Dave, Rabbi Unger, Family, Friends.
Consider for a moment the awesome challenge faced when trying to take a few moments to honour the life of my father. How can one summarize what this man has done in a lifetime in one brief discussion?
In some ways my father was a very simple man. He knew nothing of the finest luxuries in life and never aspired to have them. For those that knew my father, they know how awkward it would have been for him to have a BMW or a Rolex. How strange it would have been to see him in anything other that his shop coat and safety glasses.
Yet he wished those things for his family as they were not for him.
More comfortable at Jade Island Chinese Restaurant than at Tavern on the Green -this man simply sought other luxuries in life. More comfortable sitting with his glasses perched on his forehead trying to determine how many from column A and how many from column B than to ever sip champagne in a fine restaurant.
Other than short runs to Canada for Canadian club whiskey in college, my father never left the USA- yet he encouraged my brother and me to see the world. And that we did. And when we'd call home to say we arrived safely in England, Singapore, Hong Kong, Tokyo, or anywhere else we were he'd just say, "Wow". Then politely pause and say something like, “don't forget to call your mother on her birthday" or your mothers anniversary is next week don't forget her.
But we all know that he was not a simple man in any way. Those of you that know my dad know that he was a man rich in complexity. The sheer number of things that my father not only knew how to do but was an authority on would stagger you. He was a man that knew his trade and knew it well- better than anyone else I know. He was also a man never afraid to share his knowledge with others. Sports, politics- you name it, he understood it, and he was well versed in it and could take on anyone in a spirited debate.
In his own special way, without fanfare, without putting on airs he showed up to every day to play. This is a man that thrived under the intense discipline required to be a father. Never asking for help, never really asking for anything from anyone. He ground it out. When not working two jobs to raise our family, he worked three. On top of that he was gladly a baseball coach for me and David, when not coaching he was there at every game, no questions asked. Season upon season of baseball yelling, "pick out a good one". He was the one to drive to 6 am hockey practice and was at every Football game. He was the journeyman. He was the iron man of fathers. My dad is the Cal Ripken Jr. of fathers. Grinding it out every day always happy with hitting singles and doubles, never needing to hit the long ball.
Throughout his 66 years on this earth he aspired to touch and influence the lives of others. And if that were a measure of success, he certainly succeeded. Let's consider his stats
17500 students at school
5250 students at camp
2 bar mitzvahs
2 children through college,
1 with a masters degree (when Jennifer completes her's I will be the lowest educated of all the Chaikin's!)
1 wedding
2 grand children
Our house was adorned with the mementos of others thanking my father for his gift. I never met Danny Tapanis or the group known as 'The Girls' but they were just a sampling of the people that had a chance to adore my father the way we did. Their pictures and notes were in our house downstairs
As you arrive in heaven the other fathers await there for you at the pearly gates. They wait there because without waiting you have already been inducted into the hall of fame. By unanimous vote -a panel of your peers has already decided. And as they do with the great ones- they have decided not just to retire your number, but to retire it across all of the teams. Because there will never be another that did it quite your way, for so many years in such a dependable fashion.
So when asked to take measure of this rich and complex man I am forced to think about how other great men were memorialized. Consider Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson's epitaph is one that has confounded historians for years. Despite being a delegate to the Virginia House of Delegates, a member of the Continental Congress, the third president of the United States, and an inventor, Jefferson chose to be remembered as the author of the Declaration of Independence, the Statute of Virginia for religious freedom and the founder of the University of Virginia. Were any of these achievements greater or lesser than the other?
Consider my father... Husband, Father, Father in Law, Brother, Pop-pop, Teacher, Mentor, Coach, Color War breaker, Head of Arts and Crafts, Richmond Lion, Kohain, MUG .
How he is remembered is up to you. But I know that he was simply a man that got up every day with one aim in life. To do good by his students. Do good by his family. And do good by his friends
I will never forget the pre dawn kisses he would give on his way to work. His clean shaven face smelling of club man after shave as if each day he emerged from the barber shop. Sometimes it was a kiss on the forehead and sometimes it was one on the cheek but each day for him was approached with vigor and excitement for a new day.
I will fondly remember his teaching ways when on one trip to Camp when I was 17 years old I insisted on driving. He simply said, Tappan Zee Bridge. Now those that are familiar with the geography of Staten Island knows that there at least one bridge and several major roads between our home and the Tappan Zee bridge. But this is the way be got the most out of me and the most out of the people he taught and loved. He did so in his own special way.
